Monday, September 21, 2009

Chain of Events...

We have a dog that likes to run. And when I say run, I mean he likes to run out the front door when you open it. And he just.keeps.running. It can be very embarrassing. Not to mention, totally annoying. It doesn't matter how hard you try to hold him back, he keeps wriggling until he's free, and no amount of hollering will deter him from running. He. Is. Gone.

Dawg! Uggghhh!! #%%$%!!!

You get the picture.

One morning last week, Dawg ran out when the little one's bus arrived. Yes, he did. He ran right down the drive way and right up into the bus. The preschool bus. Thankfully, only one small child was terrified in the making of that morning. Geeesh..... I'm really irritated that we sold that shock collar on eBay....

After several such episodes last week, Dawg met with an unrelenting newspaper that seemed to do the trick. We even left the door open to bring in groceries one day and he stood looking all forlorn in the open doorway. But he did not take one step outside! We proclaimed it a miracle and credited it to the newspaper beating. (Come on. I know what you're thinking. But, it was a newspaper, ya'll! It didn't hurt. It wasn't the New York Times; it was a weekly edition from a county of what? 6,000? Ten, fifteen pages, maybe? So, no calling the law!)

Anyway, we thought all was well and that Dawg was happy and content to taking his outside time in the fenced backyard. I'm here to tell ya, we were dead wrong. He tried his wriggling escape act this morning and it led to a most interesting chain of events.

First, he knocked down son number 2. And he's not a little kid. We're talking middle school. As he lay sprawled on the front porch, I saw Dawg running past me and felt totally helpless. #$%$#!!!

In a split second I saw the rest of my morning: take kid to school and come back to hunt the neighborhood for Dawg, catch Dawg, and beat him with a newspaper. Doesn't sound like much fun for a Monday morning. (A Monday morning that promises no rain for the first day in about 10 days, but there is still no sunshine! )

OR....I could take action on the front end.

So, what did I do? I threw my purse at him. Hard. And I'm not a fan of huge purses, so my nice little bag is stuffed like a football. It spiraled like one, too. Only....I missed. And hit the cat who was nonchalantly strolling up the sidewalk after an all-nighter. Hard. Cat hissed and spat and attacked the closest thing he could find. Yep, he attacked Dawg. Full force. Every move Dawg made brought on another hissing attack from the cat, and it wasn't long before Dawg was howling and begging to get back in the house. And my purse was totally unharmed. And my boy was okay, too.

It turned out to be a fine morning after all.

And now I know exactly what to do when Dawg runs out....Throw something at the cat!

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